A popular refrain coming out of client sessions is – How do I clear painful thoughts and emotions Angela? How exactly, do I get off of that hamster wheel in my brain with the negative loop running? And another popular one – I just want closure!!
Newsflash – closure comes from within!!! When we believe others (through conversation, one last visit, etc.) offer us closure, we are operating from a disempowered state. We are believing that we are ‘powerless’ to the situation unless and until we get that ‘closure’ outside of ourselves. The truth is, we can bring closure to painful situations ourselves, through self-healing practices.
As multi-dimensional humans, we have many aspects to our selves. Simply speaking — we have a physical body, an emotional body, as well as mental and spiritual bodies. There are many layers and dimensions within each of these and far more information and explanation does exist on these layers, aspects and dimensions; for today’s post I’ll leave the explanation at that.
We can heal through working directly with an emotion in our emotional body, or indirectly with work in the physical, mental or spiritual bodies.
Ok – back to that irritating thought loop that you are trying to shift….as a multidimensional human – you can support yourself in clearing woundings, traumas, negative thoughts and painful emotions through processes that may not make direct sense. Give this approach and these processes a try – you may find success in healing, clearing and growing as I and numerous clients have experienced.
Tools for healing and clearing:
- Bring structure and boundaries to your healing. Meaning – you choose how much time you allow yourself to either mentally or emotionally ruminate on a wounding. Whether it is 5 minutes or 2 hours – set a timer and after the timer goes off – shift out of the issue being worked on. These inner boundaries within yourself, can be more important to your well-being than external boundaries that we set with others!
- How to shift out of rumination? Distract yourself! Have a go-to list of many activities that you can shift into to keep that boundary of no longer spending time on said issue, for the rest of the day. Examples: reading, cleaning, play, chores, writing, cooking, chatting with a friend, etc.
- For more direction on grounding go here: https://energyintuit.wordpress.com/2013/11/17/grounding-as-a-daily-practice/
- Allow a purge. A good, old fashioned cry is my favorite way to purge. As we cry, we are moving our emotions out. Be careful to let the feelings and thoughts flow without attaching to them. Purges can occur spontaneously in other ways. At times we will contract a cold or a bug – because our body is alerting us that it want to purge through fever/perspiration, increased GI function, skin eruptions or excess mucus production. As you notice these processes occurring in your body – take your body’s hint and intend that that which you are ready to clear – is leaving your body with however it may be spontaneously purging.
- Intention is everything! Set an intention that your challenge is dissolving. **I am not a proponent of spiritual bypass! Setting an intention is a step of the work – not a substitution for doing the inner work.
- Move your body! Walk, run, dance – exercise in any capacity that feels good for you. This will move energy in your physical body as well as keeping you grounded in your physical body. It will keep you out of your head.
- Cut cords with the person or situation. For more information on cutting cords go here: https://energyintuit.wordpress.com/2015/05/21/cord-cutting/
- Spend time in nature. Nature is naturally clearing for your bodies/fields. While out there, visualize your problems melting away from you and being recycled by the earth.
- When we meditate we are opening up to messages from our oversoul/higher self/god/universe. Open up to not only calming yourself through meditation but also to any helpful guidance that may come through to you.
- Have an energy healing session or bodywork/massage. As you enter the session, mentally set the intention that the issues will be worked out of the bodies during the session.
- Journal and/or write a letter to the issue. Instead of sending the letter, burn it once you are done writing it, with the intention of the issue being transformed.
- If your healing situation involves other people – speak to their higher selves. To do this, drop into a meditative state; connect to your higher self; call in the other person’s higher self and imagine that they are standing before you. Commence conversation.
- Bring awareness to your breath and focus on counting while inhaling and exhaling. Bring even-ness to each – inhaling to a count of 4 (or 5 or 10, the number doesn’t matter so much) and exhaling to a count of 4. Learn holotropic breathing or one or two of the many forms of pranayama. When we do breathwork we are aligning to our life force energy – also known as prana, ki, chi in other cultures.
- Strengthen your body. As we grow, having stronger bodies allows us to be able to handle more, going forward. When not in an active clearing/healing mode, participate in activities that are also strengthening for your mind, emotions, physical body and spiritual nature.
- Tapping or EFT (emotional freedom technique). This modality, even with the basic recipe for EFT can reduce emotional charges of situations rather quickly! Through the physical body, aligning with the emotional body, and working simultaneously with both hemispheres of the brain – we can move situations to a better state. Tapping incorporates all of these components. (Angela can teach you this in a session also!)
- Positive self-talk. Done either aloud, in writing or mentally/silently – reminding yourself that you are well and whole and that you won’t always be in pain is a crucial component to your healing.
- Reframe your situation. Instead of looping on something like “He did me wrong!” – reframe it in at least six different ways. For instance: 1) He must have been hurt himself to be able to hurt someone else in this fashion. 2) Perhaps he is less equipped to discuss emotional situations. 3) Perhaps he doesn’t feel he is worthy of discussing our trouble 4) Perhaps all of the pain has served me well by teaching me how strong I really am. 5) Perhaps we outgrew each other and an ending was needed, so the universe created it for us. 6) Perhaps there is a higher purpose/bigger reason for this drama that I’ll understand over time.
- Affirmations/Mantras. Craft statements that are positive and in the present tense, to be recited when you are in an intentional healing mode. For example: I am feeling whole!
- Reach for gratitude when you can. A great goal is to reach for gratitude that the experience happened! When we do this, we open ourselves up to a higher perspective on this human journey.
- Lighten up/raise your vibration!!! Often getting out of a funk can be as simple as welcoming joy and laughter into our lives for even just a few moments.
I hope you’ve enjoyed these suggested practices for healing work. If you’d like to work one-on-one with Angela, email her here: firstname.lastname@example.org
*Angela is neither a medical professional nor a psychologist. These suggestions are no substitution for medical advice nor talk therapy. Seek out an appropriate professional as needed. If you are having a medical or psychological emergency, dial 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
I’ve been going through a breakup this month… a breakup with a 20 year old habit.
As I break up with the one – replete with the on-again and off-again qualities that we’ve all experienced around breaking up with people, I’m examining other old habits as well.
It really doesn’t matter what the habit is – it can be self-judgment, a particular view of or relationship with food/alcohol/caffeine, procrastination – it does not matter what form the habit takes. It isn’t necessarily a ‘negative’ or ‘unhealthy’ habit either – this is about examination of and opening up to ways that may serve our souls more deeply and allow us to serve the world more expansively.
What I’m loving about this process is the level of examination that is taking place.
None of it goes as deeply as you may imagine – which is the beauty of this.
I arrived at this place, out of the blue really, but certainly while listening to my intuition. I noticed when I went to engage with this habit, somewhere around the end of January, my desire/motivation/attitude towards this behavior felt different to me. I’m a big ‘feeler’, you see, being a strong Empath (go here for more information on being an Empath https://energyintuit.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/empathy-vs-intuitive-or-psychic-empathy/)
What I began to do then, was to treat these shifted feelings as new friends and turn them over like fall leaves deserving much attention for their vibrancy and color. Simply observe them and then move on to new feelings that came with those and do the same.
I stayed out of analysis and judgment of me, my habit, my relationship to my habit – I merely observed it all as if I was getting to know a new person whom I knew nothing about.
As I really listened and watched, I learned that the absence of this habit – or the prospect of its absence, allowed for some beautiful spaces in my life and being to allow other things to take root. To allow other emotions, other high-vibrational states of being and feeling good, room for other intuitive messages to pop through.
I read recently that if we aren’t losing friends then we aren’t growing. I would re-frame it to say that if we aren’t changing our relationships to friends, habits, the world then we aren’t growing. We aren’t meant to stay in stagnant relationship to anything or anyone – we are meant to grow and change and evolve as spirits in human bodies.
You might examine a breakup with an old way for yourself. Get quiet, tune into your intuition and see what comes up in your life as wanting attention. It may be that some of your ways are up for transformation vs. an ending. Check it out. Enjoy the process!
How to Do What?:
As a professional psychic, medium and energy healer, I get this question in many forms, often. To begin, I use this explanation:
I refer to spirits, the psychic realms, energy, deceased people, spirit guides, etc. as all from the unseen realms. I described this/these unseen realms as ‘Spirit’. God, Universe, Higher Self, Collective Unconscious, Subconscious can all be subbed in for this phrase, ‘Spirit’ as well. You see, I do drop them all into one category, mostly to avoid esoteric discussion and philosophizing during a client’s session since I am on the clock, more to the point that titles and labels mean a bit less to me in the process as the information that wants to come through.
I am a channel, a vessel, a conduit for information and healing energies from Spirit. While I formally trained and practiced before opening my practice, this isn’t so much ‘what I do’ as ‘what I facilitate’ from Spirit.
We all have access to the sensitivities, information, healing.
It’s a matter of fine-tuning our perceptions, confidence and knowing. For some this process is simpler than for others. A certainty is that we all have to bring a huge dose of humility and a commitment to our own healing, if we are to step into healing and helping others by bringing through Spirit.
Sometimes clients will ask me, “How do you know you are speaking to Aunt Sue/my Spirit Guide/your Guide/God?” Great question and sometimes I’m given information for the client to hear and work to identify with, in terms of who is delivering the info through me – often, more often than not, I’m not given much identifying info and am required to work on faith in where and from whom/from which energy the information is coming from.
Lastly, so many people ask what are some ways to develop their own intuitive listening and knowing skills – meditation is key! Quieting the mind so that we may clear some static and deeply listen, is a crucial step. For more info meditation check out this blog post:
Types of Empathy
Many are asking me, how I distinguish between an Empath, a Healer, an Indigo and a Seer – lenses that we are getting ready to pick up and look through in a new program called Spiritual Spy Glass, launching next week. This post is the first of a series of four on the nuances of these sensitivities, these qualities at an intuitive level as we explore types of empathy.
What’s the difference between being empathic on behalf of someone and being psychically empathic? The difference is one of consciously feeling what someone is going through and less consciously feeling what someone is going through. When we demonstrate empathy, say, for a friend going through a challenging time, we move ourselves into their shoes as best we can. We consciously ‘feel’ what it must feel like to be going through their situation. We empathize with how it must feel to get news of a sick relative, lose a job, etc. Here is a great article on how to cultivate more empathy of the non-intuitive type:
When we are experiencing life as an Empath, it is far more pervasive and ill-defined.
The vast majority of people who are Empaths are walking around unknowingly. My hope is that this post will shed some much needed light on how it is that we feel things from others and more importantly, what we can do to lessen its ill-effects on our being and health.
I’ll refer to intuitive/psychic empathy as Empathy, from here on out. Empathy is genetic, rooted in our DNA and in our brains. It if often heightened by out-of-body (OOB) and near-death-experiences (NDEs) and it was in my case at the age of 7 when I was hit by a car. Empathy can be augmented and shut down with traumatic events whether objectively traumatic (sexual abuse, torture, etc.) or perceptively traumatic. Many people, particularly Empaths, may witness or experience something that feels very traumatic to them but not to others. A classic example: The old adage that children should be seen and not heard and children hearing and feeling this from elders.
Empathy is the spongiest of the intuitive skills as Empaths seem to absorb everyone’s feelings. There are varying degrees of this. Some people may experience it pervasively and others maybe only with certain people. Empaths vary in degrees by their levels of self-awareness and empowerment. If you experience any of the following situations/scenarios – you are empathic–you are an Empath. The beauty of this sensitivity – consider yourself as having a more complete communication package! The benefits to becoming empowered through your Empathy is that you’ll feel more balanced in how you relate to people and with how you walk through your life.
I’ll follow up these scenarios with some critical coping skills.
- Become tired or fatigued after being in public places – especially malls, concerts, sporting events.
- Sense someone’s emotions, contrary to what they are expressing. This can cause great self-doubt, especially in children. Example: a teacher appears to like your child and treat him fairly. He feels the judgment and disdain from the teacher and ‘knows’ otherwise.
- Find that eople gravitate towards opening up to you. Strangers may tell you their secrets on the subway!
- Have people tell you they feel better when they are in your presence. You’ve been called nurturing, compassionate, caring, a great listener, etc.
- Either prefer solitary time and/or identify with feeling better when you can get some time alone to recharge.
- Dislike violent or loud music, harsh voices, gory and violent tv and movies bother you – you avoid them.
- Sense energies in places and with things – you may be either drawn to old objects for their energies or avoid them for the same reason, preferring new objects with no emotions attached to them.
- Turn to food, drugs & alcohol as a way of dulling/numbing out all that you feel and sense from your over-stimulating world.
- Experience swift mood shifts and/or have been called moody. You may have the awareness that these feelings don’t ‘feel’ like they are yours.
- Have experienced physical symptoms of another – their stomach ache, headache, etc – empathetic/sympathetic pains.
Not only is this intuitive skill of Empathy the spongiest, it can be the weightiest and most responsibility-laden of them all. It means a lifelong process of coping and self-care. It means owning your emotions and discerning those of others – essentially a deep call to self awareness.
Suggested Coping Skills:
- Build an awareness of your emotions. If you’ve historically bottled things up you may be harming yourself with this approach. Find a therapist who aligns with Energy Psychology concepts. (recently recognized by the APA as a credible sub-category of practice, 2012)
- Talk things out with a therapist, counselor, confidante or trusted friend and/or find a group of like-feeling/like minded people who are interested in discussing what life is like as an Empath.
- Give yourself breathing room. Deep breathing is a fast way to clear your head and revitalize.
- Stop and get grounded. For grounding suggestions go here: http://wp.me/p2vm4l-6A
- Cultivate mindfulness in your approach to life. Bring simplicity and full presence to all that you do.
- Meditate! http://wp.me/p2vm4l-6A
- Get out into nature, nature soothes. Remind yourself of nature’s simple beauty, our connectedness to one another and just how good it feels to put your feet on the ground or in that stream.
- Bathe in Epsom salts or shower with the intention of releasing all that you may be feeling that is not yours and not serving You.
- Check in with your aware self – Is what I’m feeling mine or tied to a situation in my life? If not – send it back to where it came from with love and awareness. This simple thought process can save you much grief and pain! When we are going through personally painful situations, others’ emotions can exacerbate and exaggerate ours. Be gentle with yourself.
One of the most important takeaways from this is that being an Empath can be complex.
You may be so accustomed to feeling other peoples’ emotions that your own may feel foreign or confusing. As an Empath, it may feel much easier to sense the emotions of others and mistake them as our own. This is why becoming aware, working with a counselor skilled in intuition, taking deep responsibility for your own well-being are critical.
I’ll offer you one metaphysical coping skill too:
Many times you may be advised to employ a ‘white light of protection and shielding’. This is great advice! It’s as simple as imagining yourself in an egg-shaped bubble of white, healing and protecting light. Or placing that in your mind’s eye or with positive intention around your home, your car, your family. As an Empath, we are naturally connected to the hearts of others. This is not a weakness and we can learn responsibly how to sense others’ feelings without completely shielding from it.
This is why I would suggest either a pink light or a lavender light as a sensing filter. Pink light is one of love and lavender light for me is one of higher knowing. If you employ either the intention and or the visuals of these lights, as filters vs. shields, you may feel more balanced and able to stay in the love end of the fear-love spectrum vs. the fear end.
As an Empath, you were born with these skills for a reason.
Embrace the empowerment that is inherent in this gift and let me know if I can support you in any way.
Feel free to tune in on 3/31/14 at 8pm EST for a free webinar entitled, Journey of The Empath. Click here to register for this free event: http://eepurl.com/QuXfL
Disclaimer: I am neither a medical professional nor a licensed mental health counselor. If you are experiencing problems with your emotions please consult a medical, mental health or holistic practitioner attuned to Intuition and energy psychology. Diagnosis by written content on the internet is inadvisable.